fufeng

went shopping on wednesday,
at orchard.
found a lot of things tht i really like.
decided t go there again on monday (:
cos monday is PAY DAY (:
GEEEES.

went t eat at sakae just now.
li xuan's mom's treat (:
gosh it's nice ! haha
ate quite a lot.

and while i was browsing through my old phone,
i found some old pictures of myself,
looking back at th me last time is damn funny.
haha



this was taken at last christmas.



not forgetting my gold coloured hair, haha.



my passport photo. :)



the me right now, haha.

well, i'm back to catching up with my studies.
although sch starts next year, but still...



got to study hard (:

ok, i was fired this morning,
and so, there goes my job.
but still i must say, that person sucks,
SUCKS BIG TIME, i feel like biting her !
wad a bitch.
she just tell me: 'YOU NO NEED TO COME ANYMORE'
SOOOOOOOOOO ?! Zzz
can let me sleep more (:



searched my photo album, and found out i still had the picture when i pierce my lip,


tht time when i pierce my lip,
the whole thing just swell.
but in the end i took it out, and pierced again, haha.
hwee and i pierced together,
but i can't find his picture, too bad. (:


i can upload my pictures alrd.
so, i will upload more pictures on my next outing. (:

working is so damn damn damn no fun !
i was being bullied by others! :(
i thought working in ve is damn tiring,
but working outside is fucking more tiring.
and those malaysia ppl bully me.
at least at ve i wouldn't get bullied. ):
throwing their weights around just because they work there more longer than me.
so after thinking for so long,
i decided tht i might as well quit my this job by th end of this month,
and go back t ve.
hey look,
im those kind tht has been pampered, and u expect me t take my time in exchange for money ?
and they're only giving me 5.50 per hour, which frankly say,
is not very much.
5.50 cant even let me buy a set meal,
the cheapest McChicken is 5.80.
they're only giving me 5.50 per hour, and they expect me t lay dwn my life fr them ?
dream on fuckers!


doesn't really had a nice time working,
waking up early every morning is just so not me.
and i hate myself so much right now,
although tht bvlgari guy is very handsome, haha.

and jelly dude !
still rmb tht senior tht i told u about?
th one tht we met in sch ?
lee chia smth, i cant rmb his name.
i thnk i saw him at my working place, he's working at lee cooper !
oh my god !
wad a coincidence!
damn, im smitten by him again, hais.
failure, failure.


PS. jason lim, i'm wrong, i'll go back t ve.
i know im wrong. :(

im starting work tml,
and i've been waking up at ard 1plus 2 every day.
im so scare tht i cnt wake up tml, haha.
got t ask my human alarm clock mr chan t wake me up tml
before he go t sch, hehe :D

th starhub plan tht i signed up,
has free 500mms,
thn me and fatty has been spamming each other
tons of mms fr th past few days,
in th end suyi told me ytd,
'when u sent it's free, but when u retrieve it, need t pay money'
zzz, gonna hv a big bill again nxt mth. ):
my bill fr last mth exceeded, by right it shld be 26dollars,
but last mth i was charged 56dollars, Zzz.

went out t bedok on thursday with jason and jeremy t catch up
my pace, with surveying :)
went dwn t office first, then t bedok.
th ppl at bedok is damn damn damn unfriendly !
i approached 50 ppl, but only less thn 5 willing t do survey fr me ):
in th end they left first and headed t bugis,
while i stay at bedok and continue with my surveys.

went out on friday with fatty t causeway point,
we seem like always gg out, only t causeway point,
walk until th place nua alrd.

hwee came over t my place ytd t watched dvd together,
watched 4bia and prom night.
both show is still ok la, not too bad :)
until ard 6.30pm, i feel hungry then asked him t help me buy food at th coffeeshop.
he took up his handphone and called chi yeung, hahaha,
it's damn funny.
he brought KFC, so long since i last eat KFC.
ate 2 big pieces of chicken, until im damn full.
when i ate finish, my aunt called me and ask me whether i've eaten,
and asked whether i still need t eat or not, haha.
enjoy life ah.



i've decided t really move on this time round.
hey, dude, look.
im only 17 years old,
i dun wan my life t be because of u,
i dun dare t go into a new relationship.
let's say i can only live up t 65 yrs old,
i still have ard 48 yrs ahead of me,
i dun wan t be alone, pathetically nobody by my side
for my rest 48 years.
so, melvin lee, stop ur nonsense,
maybe its just me feeling this way, i duno.
but tht time when we're tgt,
i really felt happy.
tht's enough alrd. :)
hwee told me this:
't forgive, is t let th prisoner free, and realised th prisoner is youself'
i find it very meaningful.
cos i dun wan t be a pathetic faggot.
even though knowing tht every thing is jus a dream,
but wad make me pathetic is,
even though knowing tht it's just a dream,
i dun wan t wake up.

it's gd t realised it earlier,
so tht i cn hv alot more chances t meet more ppl. :)

cruelity wins every thing, you just proved it.

woke up at 8 this morning,
woken up by yet another nightmare,
i dreamt bout sth bad happening t jelly dude,
when i woke up first thing,
msg jelly t comfirm tht she's ok, haha.
fucking woke up at 8am, despite me sleeping around 5plus ytd night. ):
chi yeung, u're gg t get it from me i swear !
dun let me go t bed and sleep !
chatting with lx ytd night till 3plus,
i said goodnight, im tired and wanted t slp,
lie there fr less thn 5mins, when tht drunkard called me.
'eh open up ah, im outside ur hse, at ur door there'
wad th fuck, he used my excuse, haha.
he was drunk, and yet he cn chat and talked so much,
power sia. vomitted some stuffs out,
then talked again, Zzz.
wad's worse, he's th one tht fell asleep first, despite im th damn tired one.
pulled me away from my sleep, and he went t sleep himself !
hwee called me this afternoon,
complained t him tht im damn tired, haha.
he was also quite cui ytd night, ha.
thn weiyao has t sent them home.
th way he tell me was damn funny la !
haha, i laugh when i think of it.


went t turn on th tv when i woke up this morning,
fucking stupid, t think i cn watched th eclipse thing,
in th end, the china ppl were just waiting fr th eclipse,
nothing special,
watched fr less than 5 mins,
and went back t sleep.
woke up at 12 when my aunt suddenly
kicked me, throw pillows on me and wake me up, zzz.
pulled me up, and dragged me back home at amk.
didnt even bother t comb my hair, or pick my clothes,
just wear anything i cn find,
put every thing into my bag and went out.
felt asleep in th train. ):
was damn damn damn tireeeeed ! ):

human beings are set t such tht, they'll only treasure th things, after they've lost them.
you've lost me, have u learned hw t treasure me yet ?
things tht i remembered, do u still remember ?

-如果以后在一起不开心怎么办?
-我付责,你只要把你自己交给我就好,有我在.

th dream tht u gave me, is too nice i cant bear t wake up.
i dun wan t wake up.
things tht we used t do tgt, places we've gone tgt.
i hope every thing can still be th same.
th only time i hate myself so much,
is when i think of you,
th me, tht fucking reeks of useless-ness and foolish.
you've moved on, wad bout me?
things tht come at th right time, always goes at th wrong time.

Im so sleepy that I feel like sleeping. Like as an absolute slacker is no fun, th energetic Fufeng is going t be back soon, real soon.

...
I typed accordingly to what she typed in her sms.

had my whole week planned :)
meeting fatty to go causeway point tmr,
meeting hwee on wednesday to go some where,
haven't fix a place, haha.
meeting chi yeung on thursday,
to go t hwee's brother's shop,
looking forward t go his shop ! :)
haha

i wan t go escape la ):
hasn't been able t go,
cos fatty and su yi's working weekend job,
then not free t go):

my life seems very no goal,
i got nothing t do every day,
i duno wad t do.
and thinking of this every time,
makes me feel so useless.
how did my life end up so screwed ? Zzz


after all these days of doing nothing,
have only plenty of time and nothing more,
all i could do was think, imagine, and reflect.
my phone rang, took up my phone,
saw his number, didn't wan t pick it up,
and finally it stops ringing, wanted t call u back, had no courage, and ended up crying.
still cant really figure out wad went wrong,
after fr... so long ?
you still didn't bothered t explain,
or because i nv gave u a chance t explain ?
it's been so long i lost track, ha.
doesn't mention your name doesn't mean i've gotten over it.
i saw ur messages, i just didn't feel like replying,
even though i've free unlimited sms,
i've told myself i can't be bothered with you.
and i just can't,
t be frank, im very happy when u sms me,
each time i wanted t reply u,
happily typed in th msg,
just one button away frm sending,
and i cancelled it.
i still missed you, alot, very much.
at night when i can't get t sleep,
i think of wad happened between us, and i cry again.
even though i understand,
guys like you, are just not worth it,
you're a scum,
but i'm attracted t scum like you, wad cn i do ?
i say i accept ur apology, just leave me alone.
im scare of you.

i joke around with hwee and chi yeung,
im ok, every thing's ok.
maybe every thing'll be ok,
after some times.